One Man’s Walk through life

Why Comes Before How

Something I learned from my sister this weekend.

Like any good older brother, I try to share the things I learn in life with my
younger siblings : Javi (13) and Ceci (16). Sometimes I’m more successful than
others. Sharing something like sushi for example w/ Ceci, or a really good movie – Easy. But teaching Javi how to program (even though he’s interested) or Ceci
how to make a difference – Hard.

Why is that? We are obviously in different places in life, but surely we can
bridge that gap somehow?

Thinking about that today as I come back from a visit
to El Paso, it occurs to me that much of what I’m interested in today is HOW.
How to be a better leader, how to be a more effective communicator,
how to teach something to my brother, a client, etc. Answering these how questions
is very important to me and I spend a lot of time working and trying things out to
that end. If you asked me why I wanted to answer any of these questions or how
it relates to my life in the short or long term, I’d be able to tell you right away.

But when I try to get Javi or Ceci interested in a HOW they are often still
missing the why. It’s REALLY hard to learn how to program. You need to have a good
reason to do it. And you need to see that reason again and again in the short term.

So instead of trying to teach Javi how to program, or test first (yeah I was trying
to teach him test first…), I’m encouraging him to try designing his own Warcraft 3
levels. He seems to like that and we’ll see where it goes

As for Ceci, she could have cared less about what I had to say before, but she’s
suddenly interested in gay/straight relations at school. She wants to start something
and all I can do is say, ‘wow Ceci, that’s awesome, let me know if there’s anything
I can do to help’