Comments on: When To Say No

By: scott

scott — Tue, 19 Oct 2004 00:00:00 +0000

I think the obvious answer is often just using “yes, but later”. Rather than let someone dump monkeys on your back RIGHT NOW, schedule in some time to sit down with them at some later point.

This has the added advantage of said person solving his problems on their own before you even get involved.

Usually, I will help someone if they’ve actually put it an effort to understand the problem and has a few ideas for solving it, rather than coming to me on a knee-jerk basic when something goes wrong.

By: joeclark

joeclark — Tue, 19 Oct 2004 00:00:00 +0000

Hey Jeremy, I am 100% with you on this sentiment. A couple weeks ago I met Thomas Power )(of ecademy) in Hong Kong and he had a lot to say about “selflessness” as a strategy for success in networking and in life. It’s been part of my strategy and “personal brand” for a long time. BTW, I agree that I can’t stand those dance hall snobs that say “yes” and then make it as miserable dance as possible by looking away, acting bored…
[comment by Joy]
It is okay to say “no” when saying yes means breaking a boundary that you have set for yourself. These differ with every person and in every situation. Boundaries can be physical, emotional or spiritual in nature.

Ex: If I’m at a dance and I’m just hanging out then I will say no to a dance. If I’m tired and need to sit out a song I’ll say no to a dance. If I really want to dance with my favorite lead I’ll ask the person who just asked me to wait for another song while I dance with this other person.

Ex: If I’m at work trying to get a project done, I may say no to friends that call or IM, or other requests since they would interfere with the project I need to get done.

Ex: If a friend needs me to do something for them, I will most likely try to do it, but if it means getting little/no sleep which will then interfere with the rest of my day/week I may have to say no. If I am dealing with a family crisis I may have to say no because I can’t deal with any more emotional strain, even though I really care for my friend – I may have to direct them to someone else.

There are a thousand examples. And I am horrible at saying “no,” but I’m learning that it is important to know when and how to use that two letter word.

By: Javi

Javi — Tue, 19 Oct 2004 00:00:00 +0000

Well Jerm i guess an answer might be to prioritize. Think ” can i afford (can the team afford) for me to say “yes” at this time. IF it/you really can but you don’t want to, then you should say yes anyway, however you will have to say no eventually. It’s like The Seven Habits say, pick your “big rocks” for the week/day/hour and get them out of the way or “put them in the bucket, because its easier to fit in the little rocks after the big rocks are in than it is to try and jam in big rocks after all the little ones are”. ^_- I hope you can follow that better than i did lol.